My summer so far...

 It would be summer 2014 before Dad got round to it, so muggins here steps in

 Now stand back and watch me do my thing on this pole

 God bless you Ma'am and thanks for the extra day off...good work

 Full manicure, with convenient toilet facilities £10

 Casey and son convenience store, some food items may be pre chewed

 You can have a kiss, but hands of my ice lolly

 Magazine pose, rough and rugged on the beach

Get off my land, bleedin' tourists scaring my sheep